more than conquerors

we've had vbs this week at church, and the theme verse is romans 8:37. "in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." so many times in my life i am in situations or surrounded by circumstances that i feel i'll never be able to conqueror. to be honest, i'm there now. it's been 8 months since mom passed away. she has now been gone as long as she was sick. things have gotten better, but still- there are aspects of her absence that i feel i'll never be able to conquer. i miss her more now than i ever have, because i realize that she really is gone. i think about all the things i will do motherless-graduate college, get engaged, plan a wedding, get married, settle into a career, have children...and the longing and pain become so strong that it seems like more than i can conquer. no matter how many "good days" i have, reality is still reality- and its a sucky reality. i wonder if i will ever be able to go through my life and be truly happy without my mama. i wonder if my family will ever be as strong as we once were, or as happy. when the breakdowns come, they come with the overwhelming sense that things will never really be as good as they once were, that at some point everything is going to just come crashing down and completly fall apart. i'll always feel this pain, this void, this longing, this loss. but then, i'm reminded of god's promise that in him, we are more than conquerors. we're not only going to get by or manage, but we are going to be more than conquerors. it is when i begin to neglect my relationship with christ that i begin to feel like i'll always be a prisoner to my grief. however, his word assures me otherwise. thru him that loved us, him who created the universe, him who sent his only son- i can, and will, conquer. weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.