good versus better

there are things that are good for us, and things that are better for us. i was reminded of this fact by our amazing campus minister during the freshmen worship service that i got to attend on sunday morning as a connections leader. matt discussed wisdom, and how important it was to seek wisdom in making the choices that we are sure to encounter. i especially liked when he said that sometimes its not about making decisions about what is right or wrong- but deciding between things that are good for us and better for us. my decision to be at school is one of those types of decisions. as much as i love samford- the campus, the friends, the community, the sorority, the professors, and even most of the classes, it is always so hard to be at peace about being here instead of being home with my family. i've had an amazing little over a week back. i was able to be a connections leader (meaning i had a group of 15 freshman that i lead for their 1st 2 days at samford before classes started) and aside from my sorority experience, it is the BEST thing i've done at samford. i had a blast at training preparing to meet the new students, and truely fell in love with this awesome university all over again. it's been great to participate in the traditions that always ring in the start of the new school year. it's been a pure joy to be reunited with my best friends and roommate. but even amidst all the really good things- there is the stress of knowing that i am not at home. it's hard to talk to my little sister who is also my best friend when she's had a terrible day and know that i'm not there to just give her a hug or smooth things over. its hard to realize how different her routine is with me gone. the guilt is always there, and today, it just seems extra strong.
i feel like being at school instead of home is a perfect example of good versus better. it is good for me to be at home. it is good to be present with jessie, my dad, good to be able to help aunt sheri as she is in the midst of her own cancer journey. it is a good thing, not only for me, but for my family. however, it is better to be at school. school is where i am supposed to be. it's clear that God has a plan and purpose for me here. my mom wanted me to finish school at samford and she made that very clear to me. as hard as it is, it is what is best. despite the guilt, the stress, the sometimes pure anguish-it is the best thing for me right now. i'm preparing myself for the future. i'm growing in my relationship with the Lord. i'm establishing proper boundaries within my family relationships. i'm getting to experince and even enjoy the college experience, which is something that i need to do, and i deserve to do. i feel selfish for it sometimes. but i have to remember, i could settle for what is good for me, or i can do what is the best.
i just wish what was the best was a little easier.