Thursday, October 7, 2010

just as i am

i had a little meeting with one of my campus ministers this morning. it consisted of a lot of crying, a long and warm embrace, her sharing some truth with me, and a converstaion with the father on my behalf. a lot of our time together in the past year has been spent this way.
yesterday, i had a melt down. out of the blue, nothing to trigger it, just started crying with no end in sight. let myself cry for a little bit, then sent the infamous chocolate text to britt. in less than 2 min, she was in the bed with me, with a whole bag of chocolate. because like any goodgirlfriend, britt knows that chocolate makes EVERYTHING better.
got to have dinner with a precious friend last night. she picked me up, i got in the car and said "its been one of those weeks." she smiled, knowing exactly what i meant, and what i needed.
spent some sweet time tonight sharing my burdened heart with my bible study group, 6 sorority sisters who know my story as well as anyone, but listened as if it were the first time they'd heard it.
i'm so thankful for the people in my life who accept me just as i am. it's not always pretty. quite often, its downright ugly. but i'm blessed to have a network of family, friends, and mentors who have been there for the long haul, who have not only accepted me, but loved me and been there to support me through it all, no matter what state i'm in.
what a beautiful reflection of the love that our father has for us. just as i am- my god loves me, cares for me, and provides for me. i'm not always faithful, or loving toward him, but he is. he lavishes me with his provision and goodness, even when i am too angry or broken to see it.

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